This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize