Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My vagina just clenched in fear
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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