remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
