there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
