There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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