In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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