I puked a lego.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's blow job season.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
