Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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