she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
