Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize
