i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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