Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
