So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Less talking, more tequila
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
