I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
