Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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