Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
