You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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