if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
