Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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