I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
