just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
