Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
