Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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