I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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