She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
