She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
