Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
