dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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