this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
