I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
