Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
