i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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