Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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