We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
