I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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