I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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