He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize