we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
