So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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