like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
