her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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