It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
