so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
