just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
