I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
