Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
