I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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