Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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