She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
