They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
