Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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