Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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