remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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