Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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