Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
