To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize