Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
