Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My vagina is officially offended.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
