oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
