Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
