After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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