We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
